Thursday Night Movie Club
xXx: Return of Xander Cage
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Release Date: 20 January 2017

Director: D.J. Caruso
ACTORS:
Vin Diesel
Donnie Yen
Deepika Padukone
Kris Wu
Ruby Rose
Tony Jaa
Nina Dobrev
Rory McCann
Toni Collette
Samuel L. Jackson
Ice Cube
Hermione Corfield
Tony Gonzalez
Michael Bisping
Al Sapienza
CHARACTERS:
Xander Cage
Xiang
Serena Unger
Nicks
Adele Wolff
Talon
Becky Clearidge
Tennyson Torch
Jane Marke
Augustus Gibbons
Darius Stone
Ainsley
Paul Donovan
Hawk
CIA Director
xXx: Return of Xander Cage movie poster xXx: Return of Xander Cage movie poster xXx: Return of Xander Cage movie poster
Vin Diesel stars in xXx: Return of Xander CageAugustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) is in Brazil recruiting agents for the XXX program. High above, a communications satellite has gone out of control and crashes down on Gibbons. As a result, a high-level meeting is scheduled at C.I.A. headquarters. Jane Marke (Toni Collette) explains what happened. A military device known as Pandora is capable of sending any satellite out of its orbit and crashing to Earth causing a catastrophe similar to a missile strike. Before she can finish her briefing, a highly-trained team breaks into the building and steals Pandora. Marke knows of a special man who could handle these criminals.

Enter Xander Cage (Vin Diesel). Cage has infiltrated a communications tower. He removes a small device from the tower, straps skis onto his feet and leaps off the tower. Cage slaloms through the jungle before switching over to a skate board. He ends up running onto a pier and onto a waiting boat where he takes out the device and connects it to a series of electronic components. He powers up the machine. A TV set turns on and tunes in to a soccer match that has just started. The people around him break out in a roaring cheer.

Hermione Corfield as Ainsley in xXx: Return of Xander CageThus begins xXx: Return of Xander Cage. The film has a fantastic back story but is just another standard action film. The writers do not take the film to a level where it would have been really intriguing. Pandora falls into the hands of a mysterious person who can destroy a capital, the White House or even all of Congress in one fell stroke. Who has it and what do they plan to do with the device? Who cares! Just get Pandora back. Simple.

That is the problem with xXx: Return of Xander Cage. The film is too simple. Cage meets with Ainsley (Hermione Corfield), a drop-dead gorgeous young woman with a sexy British accent. She promptly tells Cage where the bad guys went with Pandora. Of course, Cage must pay a heavy price for the information: have sex with all of Ainsley's female cohorts. Ah the things Cage does for his country. Most of the jokes are just as obvious.

Vin Diesel and Deepika Padukone star in xXx: Return of Xander CagexXx: Return of Xander Cage does have some genuine great stunts, some very funny bits and some actual surprise moments. Unfortunately it is all joke, action, joke action. Character development is kept to near null. For the most part, the actors can be interchanged and have no effect on the story.

In one scene, Cage is relaxing in a public square when he is suddenly surrounded by troops. He knows this is a setup and promptly explains how he knows the soldiers have blanks. The scene is played for laughs but how could a government spy agency be so stupid as to actually make the mistakes Cage lists.

Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen and Deepika Padukone star in xXx: Return of Xander CageOne of the better scenes is an exchange between Cage and Serena Unger (Deepika Padukone). They trade sexual innuendos while also taking away each others knives. The two adversaries sit down with Xiang (Donnie Yen) who pulls a pin out of a grenade and rolls it towards Cage. He catches the grenade and soon the three are playing Hot Potato while discussing their situation. Unger wants to destroy Pandora. Xiang needs the device to complete his plans.

Any humor and suspense developed in this sequence is quickly snuffed out. Xiang escapes on a motorcycle. Cage follows. Xiang flies off a small hill, pushes a button on his cycle which quickly sprouts skis and off he goes off like a jet ski. Of course, Cage's motorcycle is equally equipped. This stunt is insane.

Scene from xXx: Return of Xander CageCut to the final action sequence where Special Forces attack Cage's crew. Once again, highly-trained soldiers with fully automatic assault rifles and rocket grenades cannot hit their targets. Bullets rain down. Explosions send shrapnel in all directions. None of Cage's team suffers a flesh wound. Sheesh!

During the final battle, Cage has given his cell phone to Unger. He gives her explicit instructions. If you reach a point where there is no escape possible, dial 9. The recipient of the phone call is the one true surprise.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage is just another standard action movie. An interesting premise is unfortunately left in the background overshadowed by jokes, action and more jokes and more action. This is pure entertainment, no more, no less.

Scene from xXx: Return of Xander Cage Scene from xXx: Return of Xander Cage Scene from xXx: Return of Xander Cage